Oh, Irony
by Origami Butterflies
Summary: It's a big problem when your adorable kouhai asks you to teach her the ways of love. It's an even bigger problem when you don't know freakin' how. "Well," he said to himself, "It can't be that hard...right?" Biggest understatement of the year. Rated T for a reason. KazuKaho.


_**Oh,**** Irony**  
_

Summary: It's a big problem when your adorable kouhai asks you to teach her the ways of love. It's an even bigger problem when you don't know freakin' how. "Well," he said, "It can't be that hard...right?" Biggest understatement of the year. Rated T for a reason.

O.i.O

_Kazuki_.

"_Kazuki-senpai!" _She screamed, fisting the sides of his rumpled shirt. He looked down at her flushed face and grinned, whispering, "_Do you want more, __**Kahoko**_?" Gently running his hands against the contours of her body, he subtly teased and rubbed all of her sensitive spots along the way. She moaned and arched into his body in response, pressing her soft, honeysuckle skin against his aching—

"_Kazuki_!"  
He gasped, falling off the bed in shock. Blearily, he glared up at the amused form of his older brother, Kei. "What'd you do that for, Kei?" He asked, sleepily rubbing his hands against the back of his neck. Kei smirked, "I wanted to get you up, _trumpet dork_! Kaa-san made pancakes! _You better get some before it's all gone_!" He shouted as he left, leaving a disgruntled Kazuki on the floor.

"_Mou_, _brothers_..." He sighed, lifting himself up the ground. He started to make his bed when he felt a wet patch through the sheets. It was _warm_ and _wet_ and _ohmyjumpingjellybeans_ did he just _pee_ in his bed? _Seriously_? He hadn't done that since he was five! Gross! Disgusting! What would his mother say? He shuddered at the thought. So, without much thought, he quickly bunched up his sheets and stuffed them carelessly under the bed. He would deal with them later...after pancakes; sweet, glorious, mouth-watering—

"_Kazuki_, come down here right **now**!" The voice of his scary-as-heck mother boomed up to his room and he nodded docilely in response, despite the fact that she couldn't even see him. All he knew was that his mother could be downright _terrifying_ when she wanted to be. So, as quickly as he could humanly manage, he shoved on a new pair of pants, ran down the stairs, and yelled, "I'm coming, Kaa-chan!"

The pancakes were good.

O.i.O

_Kahoko_.

**Beep. Beep. Beep**. **Be**—she smashed her hand against the snooze button. "_Urgh_," she groaned, "'S too early in the morning..." She was just about to lay her head against the warm, cushiness that was her pillow, when; "Kaho-chan, time to get up! You have twenty minutes until school starts!"

She almost cried in despair. "Kaa-san, five more min—" _Woosh_! And she no longer had the cocooning warmth of her snugly duvet encasing her body. She whimpered pitifully, before rubbing her eyes and stretching her arms out high.

"_Alright, alright, I'm up_!" she croaked, slipping her feet into pink bunny-slippers. "..._mou_, why couldn't it be Saturday?" And softly grumbling under her breath, she sloppily trudged through the pink-peach door of her bathroom.

She looked at herself in the mirror and gasped. Something, she thought to herself, was definitely _wrong. _And glancing worriedly at her reflection, she quickly grabbed some foundation and patted it against her face; she had _bags_ underneath her eyes the size of _sweet potatoes_...And the question was, **why**?

"I didn't sleep _that_ late..." And then she froze, remembering the dream she had last night... that _extremely embarrassing_ dream. For a while now, her body had been feeling _strange_; tingling and aching in places it never had before—especially around the more private sections of her body... She felt herself going red at the embarrassment. Oh, it was all so frustrating! Her body doing stuff and she didn't even know why!

And that dream from last night... Ooh, it was so _inappropriate_, with her and _Tsukimori _(of all people) doing almost unimaginable things; unimaginable things that had felt so _good_—she blushed a furious red just thinking about it.

"Oh gosh," she said, suddenly feeling really embarrassed, "I better go talk to Amou-chan..."

O.i.O

"Oh Kaho-chan," laughed Amou, absentmindedly fingering a few snapshots of the Concours. "There's nothing wrong with you; your body's just telling you that you need to get _laid_."

She looked confused, "Get laid? You mean, like, sleep?" Amou giggled at the girl's _naïveté_. "Well, it's sort of sleeping, but, I meant the more pleasurable kind of sleep—you know… the one that involves two or more people."

Immediately, her eyes widened and she blushed modestly. "S-s-s-sex?" she sputtered, "Why would my body tell me to do that? And how am I supposed to fix it? I don't want to lose my virginity, but at the same time I also don't want to have bags the size of Fiji! _Oh, what am I going to do_...?" She panicked, getting hopelessly distraught with each passing (obscene) thought.

And just as she was felt she was about to pull out her hair, Nao-chan came over and bopped her solidly on the head. "Don't be a _baka_, Kaho—stressing out is _not_ going to get you anywhere." Then Mio's sweet voice came up from behind her. "She's right you know, Kaho-chan. Now, tell us all of your problems, _slowly, _please."

She took a deep breath in. "A-ano," she started, "Well, last night I had a dream..." She stopped, feeling quite flustered just thinking about it.

Nao looked impassive, "Elaborate."

"I had a **naughty** dream," she whispered, "About me, and _Tsukimori_-kun." Mio and Amou looked ecstatic.

"Continue."

"In the dream, I was doing _things_ with him... you know, _kissing _and _touching_him..." She trailed off, waiting for her friends to gasp at the sheer inappropriateness of it all.

They did not. Instead, Mio and Amou squealed together about the 'Violin Romance' while Nao stood there, looking significantly amused.

"Goodness, Kaho-chan," said Mio, between giggles, "Dreaming about someone isn't bad, it's really quite normal...You shouldn't worry about it too much."

"Yes," agreed Nao, "These sort of dreams are perfectly acceptable at our age."

"But that's not the problem!" she exclaimed, "The problem is that I haven't been able to get a good night's sleep in ages and now, it's starting to really affect my grades as well as my playing!"

Then the answer to her problem piped up, "I can help you." She looked up to see a decidedly determined Amou.

"Amou-chan?"

Amou looked solemn, "I can help you, Kaho-chan, but you might not like how I do it." At this point, Hino was desperate enough not to care anymore.

"I'll do anything," she said, "to get rid of my problem, _anything_." However, she wasn't too sure if she liked that slightly sadistic grin that came in response.

**TBC. **

Please review. Sincerely, Ori.


End file.
